The company we keep

When I became a parent, I knew my only goal was to raise kind, competent and capable kids. I didn't need to spoil them. They didn't need toys and prizes. They needed structure and love to create the environment to let them thrive and become adults that would contribute, care and grow with the world. The most treasured moment as a parent is when you witness a kind word or action, completely unprovoked by you as their parent. When your children step up to help, politely interject or contribute in some positive way to any situation.........part of your job has been done. In that same light, when they choose good friends to surround themselves with and an envrinment to thrive in.......you've laid a foundation for a promising future. In that same way, we as adults need to reflect on the company we keep. Do we surround ourselves with people who push us, encourage us and nurture the best possible person we can be? Do we have people around us who set the standard for growth, care and compassion? Do we wish to breathe the air of people who push us to be better every day or do we need to measure the effects of people who seem to take that air away? I find myself in a conundrum at times when I have people that I care about deeply in my life, but who also seem to suck the air out of a room. Deep down, they are caring people, but their surface need for attention and drama creates a cloud around them. Who they are capable of being and who you hope they can be is clouded and blurred by the drama, habits and additional factors that change who they are on a daily basis. "What can be" is much different when you step away and see "what is". In our children, we raise them to be all they can be. "What can be" is formed by "what is". The friends who inspire us to thrive are living a life of "what is". They set the standard of what we hope to be in kindness, compassion, the need to be inquisitive, positivity and joy. The friends who challenge us are the one who we see as the possibility of "what they can be". I see the good......because I look for the positive. But, sometimes we live through the bad........."what is" is a difficult place to acknowledge. Looking at our friends, maybe we need to see what we would advise our children about. Does he/she make you a better person? Do they encourage, nurture and support all you wish to be or do they draw all the attention because of their needs? Sometimes who we want to be as a parent, is possibly the best advice we can give ourselves for who we choose to include in our lives. We are the company we keep.