Cameron and heaven

10-21-93
God truly works in mysterious ways. Like through the mouths of babes on the way home from gymnastics. I think a beautiful fall sky filled with clouds from a cold front moving in prompted this evening’s discussion.

“Where’s heaven, Mom?”
“Up beyond the sky.”
“But where Mom?”
“Past outer space.”
“How high Mom?”
“Too high Cameron.”
“How do I get there?”
“Well, I hope not for a long time, but God will pick your time.”
“But how do I get there?”

Before this time we had discussed the difference between our body and our soul due to Cameron’s passing interest in cemeteries. “Our soul goes up in heaven to be with Jesus”.
“But can I wear my tennis shoes?”
“You probably won’t.”
“But what will I wear?”
“A long white gown and wings.”
“How do I get wings?”
“God will fit you with your very own pair when He’s ready.”
“But what can we do up there? Will you go with me, Mom?”
“We don’t really know what you do because no one can come back to tell us. I know that you will have many friends there though.”
“Can we play, Mom—what do they have to play with?”
“Not toys like you have now, but you’ll have other things to do. Maybe you could play hide and seek.”
“Oh Mom—I’ve got a great idea. We could bounce on the clouds.”

What a nice thing to remember when I see a beautiful cloud formation……….Cameron’s bouncing clouds.

Getting Started

In 1989 I began what would become, my most treasured possession. I began my verbal scrapbook of life with my, then, child. Over the years, it would become a snapshot in time of small and large events in our lives. To me, it was more memorable than any photo I could take of my children. Over the next few days, months or years, I will start posting some of the entries. I vividly remember the night I began writing about my son. The entries are small and large bytes of mundane moments in our lives or in the world around us. I am sometimes prolific and at other times have gaps in the time. However, each time I open the journals that carry these stories, I am carried right back to the moment. The dedication at the bottom was when I finally decided to share some of the writing.............

Excuse me, God? Are you truly confident that you wanted me to mother this little boy?
I certainly don’t question your abilities or plans, but the gift you bestowed upon my life
is certainly worth looking into.

I look at Cameron as he sleeps in my arms or embraces me with a precious
“eskimo” kiss and really wonder how you happened to reward me so.

Several times in my life I’ve felt your presence. Most often during the bad times
when you rescued me, for your own reasons. I have never prophesied
your presence, but rather, accepted you as a silent partner.

As I lay in my hospital bed…you blessed me with family, friends and health,
As I reached one of the loneliest and least-directed times in my life, you
brought me love. And then, when I believed I would never
bear a child, this magical little boy began to form.

That you entrusted me with this miracle of nature is proof that you sanction my life.

I have carried many responsibilities and accepted them as duty.
I accept this as a gift.

Through his eyes, I see wonder.
Through his laugh, I feel joy.
Through his touch, I feel warmth.
Through his trust, I build strength.

Strength for the morning, strength for the night, strength for the family
and strength for the challenge. He runs to me with expectation.
I run to him for life.

Life in its fullest sense.
As you intended it to be.


To my father, my hero.
You are the quiet strength, unfaltering resolve and unconditional love that has made me who I am.
You are the epitome of family and the example of the rewards, sacrifices and importance of believing in what lies ahead.
I love you.

Kyle